priceless.

www.textsfromlastnight.com

630): Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.

(508): We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.

(205): Do you want the good news or bad news first?
(678): bad news
(205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

(864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

(909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

(201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

(972): P.S. I can't hear my feet

(505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

1. i'm not any of these people

2. this is terrible.